When did being alone stop being an unusual thing? People eat alone, watch movies alone, and travel alone. ‘Alone’ is no longer a state of isolation but has become a choice and a style. Words like ‘honbab’ (eating alone), ‘honsul’ (drinking alone), and ‘honcam’ (camping alone) have come to symbolize personal freedom.
This trend is also confirmed by statistics. According to the National Statistical Office, one-person households accounted for 34.5% of all households in 2023. In Seoul, nearly half, or 48.1%, are one-person households. As more people live alone, living alone has become a part of everyday life.
However, this does not mean that loneliness has disappeared. Being alone and feeling alone are different. The issue is not that people ‘do not want relationships’ but rather ‘do not know how to start a relationship.’ Many have not chosen isolation but have opted for it after being hurt by the ways of connecting.
Especially among the youth, the pursuit of ‘autonomy’ has grown stronger. A lifestyle focused on oneself rather than conforming to others, valuing boundaries over relationships, has become a new social sensibility. This is not mere self-centeredness, but rather a way to ensure self-respect and safety.
In the past, identity was established through relationships, but now relationships are permitted only after self-preservation. The sequence has changed. As individualism and autonomy become the default in life, relationships have turned into a choice rather than an obligation. It’s an era where having many friends or belonging to a community is not necessary.
Yet, a life of disconnection brings another kind of deficiency. While digital technology accelerates isolation, it also provides the illusion of connection. There are many followers on SNS, but few actual contacts. It seems connected, but substantial relationships remain sparse.
It’s comfortable being alone, but sometimes I feel suddenly empty.
A freelancer in their 30s, A, who has a long association with the reporter, said this. “Sometimes, disconnection is autonomy, but other times it’s a shield. And behind that shield, there coexist both expectation and fear of relationships,” A added.
Modern people do not dislike relationships themselves. Rather, they are exhausted by the uncertainty and emotional expenditure required for establishing them. Therefore, they seek ‘recovery’ before connection. At the boundary between autonomy and isolation, we are still searching for balance.